Down and Tired

I am really frustrated.

I am sitting in a café after working for a few hours on a Sunday afternoon.

There's many things on my list of things to do. I remember putting them on this list with great excitement. These were all things I really wanted to read, or learn, or do, but couldn't because I was busy.

I now, finally, don't have a deadline pressing me to finish something. I am free to do what I please.

And what do I want to do?


The thought of working on anything is disgusting. I want to sleep. I want to get away.

Just as these thoughts coalesce I become frustrated with myself. I want to do all of these things, I don't want to while away my free time on pointless things.

Instead of reading or doing any of my once-desired things, I surf the web, doing things I don't care about at all, absorbing nothing.


I just have no idea how to deal with this feeling.

My list includes things that aren't superfluous either. Things like groceries, laundry, and school work that I really need to do.